Had a terrible day.

Even a champ falls down. I fell down in a big way today. Just had a bad case of poppy pants all day and skipped my workout because of it. I wasn't going to go to the gym and have a crap workout.

I'll see if when I wake tomorrow and see the mirror I believe what I see. I need to, damn it. I'm going to.

I'm the little engine that could. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Why do I torture myself? Am I not beyond this?

This is what I see first thing in the morning.

Begin with the end in mind.

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday.

Sunday is cheat day. That is supposed to be "free day", ala Body for Life. However, I've made it into cheat day. Now I'm done. I can't keep doing this.

Breakfast was the usual eggs, biscuits and gravy, and breakfast meats, with a side of fried potatoes. That's the usual. Felt like hell afterwards, came home and slept. Then for dinner I had a bacon cheeseburger and fries. Felt like hell again; came home and slept. And it was a nice day. What a waste of a Sunday.

So here I sit, Sunday night, wondering why I do it. Why would I do things that make me feel like hell. I guess, like my drinking used to, eating used to give me a healthy dose of pleasure. Now, the pain afterwards is about equal to the pleasure I get during my "feedings".

Yeah, I think I'm done with this whole idea of cheating for a while.

Well, here I sit, with the internal cardio debate once again. I'm trying to make it to the gym on an empty stomach. Man, I hate that. Only do it on cardio days, but still hate it.

OK, I cannot sit here and debate, when I am the 2006 Body for Life Champion. I'm off to the gym. Again, I thought I was going to say something here, but this is silly. I know I'm going to feel great in 30 minutes.

Ahhh...done!

Got my endorphine fix with some Body for Life style cardio. I weighed in at 209, which concerns me. However, I think that I'm taking in so much water that is to be expected. I've also been doubling up on my creatine which causes water retention. FURTHERMORE, I've made it a point to eat more carbs as I think I may have dropped them a little low last week.

Soooo...I'm chillin on it. I'll be back near 205 or 206 tomorrow morning. It's shoulder and ab day, so I'm low carbing all day. Hey, if I don't need the calories to move big weight, I'm not going to intake them.

Does this work? I think so. I just try to match my carbs with my energy expenditure. I may need to get more scientific at this point, and measure my food. However, for now, I'm still going off feel, and will remain doing so until I finally feel I cannot lose anymore this way.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

So here I am, day two of week three, and wondering if I've made any progress at all. I know I have, it's just tough some days. Why? I'm not sure.

I need some inspiration. I'm going to the gym to get some additional cardio in to get that inspiration. Yes, I'm going to work out, and then look for the inspiration. If I wait for inspiration to work out, it never comes.