Thursday, December 07, 2006

I'm web famous

The Weight Loss Tips site just posted my recent interview. It's a great site that very much exemplifies what weight loss is really all about. We all find our own path to fitness. These are stories that show those transformations. From Atkins to Body for Life, there's a program out there for you.

Take some time to check out all the stories at Http://

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Study: Lifting weights attacks belly fat

Study: Lifting weights attacks belly fat
March 3, 2006 JAMIE STENGLE

ASSOCIATED PRESS DALLAS -- By just lifting weights twice a week for an hour, women can battle the buildup of tummy fat that often takes hold with aging, a new study suggests. And they didn't even diet.

The study focused on intra-abdominal fat, the deep fat that wraps itself around organs and is the most unhealthy because it's linked with heart disease...more

Monday, October 09, 2006

Starting my BFL business. What should I include? I'm not just talking here. I have a retail location, ~700 square feet waiting, a marketing company I'm working with, multiple trainers waiting to train, and a nutritionalist waiting to help.

Yet I have no program.

Here's my thought. You can get a diet and workout program anywhere. I'm going to take people through what I went through. I'm going go to the grocery store with them, and show them exactly WHY you buy what you buy. Then, I'm going to buy them not just the fruit, but the fruit basket to go in front of their "snack spot" in the house. I'm going as far as buying them a crock pot for hot oatmeal in the morning. What else?

I want to give people all the little things they need to succeed.

Of course, I'll have supplements and the shaker cups to go along with them. The BFL book, and probably audio book. A custom journal, etc. etc. I do have someone who can cook all their meals for them.

Should I take it that far? What would you want?

What were some of the things you bought or learned, or struggled with, or WHATEVER. I am going to be the teacher/coach. I'm doing the educational side, and having trainers and a nutritionalist do the rest. I'm going to teach a weekly class, and give them every article/book I've read. Hey, 30 minutes of cardio 3 times a week times 12 weeks is 18 hours of audiobook time.

MY audiobook???? Hmmmmm...

If you could walk into a business, and 12 weeks later walk out a new person, what would you require? What would it be worth to you to walked through a plan where you could not fail?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Transformation: How to Change EVERYTHING: Books: Bill Phillips

I'm soooo envious of this title. It captures EXACTLY how I feel. I had a transformation, more than simply losing weight. When people ask, "How I did it?" the closest answer is "I changed everything." Transformation: How to Change EVERYTHING: Books: Bill Phillips

Monday, September 25, 2006

Key to long life may be mom's age at birth - Aging -

There's some interesting stats in here, aside from the main story. One that stuck out to me, as I'm on a HUGE family/organic farm kick, "spending part of one's childhood on a farm," is listed as a stat many centenarians share.

Hmmm...natural living and following the laws of nature is good for you? I swear, every study I see shows that science has proven that being healthy is good for you!

Key to long life may be mom's age at birth - Aging -

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Greek Philosophy: Aristotle, The Doctrine of the Mean

Greek Philosophy: Aristotle, The Doctrine of the Mean

This is the type of stuff that REALLY gets me jazzed up. I can read the timeless works of Aristotle and see that what I preach is old news. As you read this, think of how it relates to fitness. Especially the questions that everyone always ask me, "How much protein do I need?" "How many calories?" "How often do you work out?" "Should I do cardio fast or slow?" Blah, blah, blah.

Aristotle says what I always say. Do what is right for YOU, and only YOU know what YOU need.

In another passage in Nichomachean Ethics, Book II, he is more concise when he says:

Too much or too little gymnastic exercise is fatal to strength. Similarly, too much or too little meat and drink is fatal to health, whereas a suitable amount produces, increases, and sustains it.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Monday, September 18, 2006

This is just the start.

I've gotta start a list of books/authors I've listened to, and their works. I don't just read and think, "That was interesting." I practice what I read daily. Those that I can think of, at this moment, that have helped me in my Transformation:

Natural Hormonal Enhancement, Rob Faigen,
Steven Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (my bible)
Bill Phillips, Body for Life
Shawn Phillips, Absolution
John Wooden, Victory, Values, and Peace of Mind
Zig Ziglar, Goals
Deepak Chopra, 7 Spiritual Laws of Success
Victor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
James Radfield, Celestine Prophecies

I'll post more later. Was is James Radfield? James someone. The book rocked. The movie caused me to die a little inside.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Hotel abs

After getting out of the hot tub, I noticed that the lighting in the hotel bathroom was just perfect for me to see the outline of the top few abs. Cool.

This has been, and is going slllllllloooooooooowwwww as opposed to what I thought would happen. The original goal was to be showing all 6 by the 4th of July. Now? I just know when they get here, they'll be here for good.

I took another pic, just to make sure I wasn't lying to myself. Nope. I can see em...albeit barely. This pic shows my obliques pretty good. I can see them all day now, not just morning. I'll get there!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

WebMD Weight Loss Clinic: How to Think Like a Thin Person

This really hit home with me. It speaks to my belief that everything is created twice. Once in the mind, and once again when it appears in the physical realm. Think about it. Literally.

WebMD Weight Loss Clinic: How to Think Like a Thin Person

As for my update, I'm 200 pounds or under most days, and plan on working 50 hours in the next 4 days. That's manual labor to lose weight.

Also, I'm on a mission to find sushi grade fish so I can eat without cooking. I'm off to a supermarket/distributer in Chicago. Yes, I'm serious.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

WebMD Weight Loss Clinic: The Dream Diet: Losing Weight While You Sleep

WebMD Weight Loss Clinic: The Dream Diet: Losing Weight While You Sleep

No, I haven't gone mad. It's an article about the hormones leptin and ghrelin. I'm telling you, if you'd learn about hormones, you'll know how to lose weight.

If you're weight training, I'd highly recommend ZMA before you sleep. It's one of the few supplements I can say, without a doubt, works as advertised. I sleep DEEEEEEEP when I take it.

Tomorrow will be 5 weeks without one cheat meal. I feel good.

Monday, July 24, 2006

What's it like to be a normal weight?

Tell me if you think that people will look at this face the same:

As they would this one:

I'm not bitching, that's just the way it is. I'm loving it now.

People often ask me "How'd you do it?" However, the more amazing thing to me now is how different the world looks at me. A bad day now is better than a good day was. My overall feeling on life is just elevated.

I'll have a video posted soon that was shot for a local TV station in which I talk about my increased confidence, self image, pride, etc. It's so much more a mental state than the 100 pounds.

But I bet you'd like to hear specifics. What's it like to be of normal size after seeing the world through fat eyes?

The world looks back at you in a different way when you're 300. You don't realize how little respect people gave you when you were fat until you're not anymore. It's the little things you notice at first like people smiling at you rather than turning away.

What else can I tell you is different? I'll just make a list:

I can get up off a couch without "walking" my ass cheeks to the edge, and rocking to stand. In fact, every time I stand up in public, I think of how great it feels to simply stand and not be embarrased.

Speaking of being in public, I can move through a crowded room with ease; squeezing between chairs or people, or whatever with no fear of my ass knocking into things of people.

That reminds me of restaruants. I fit behind a booth no problem.

I don't sweat when I eat now. I used to need a handful of napkins at each meal. That floppy hat? It was for soaking up sweat when I drank beer.

I don't sweat at all now, really. I have to bust my ass in the gym to break a sweat. I have a resting heart rate at 50. I can get into the car on a 90 degree day and get the AC kicking before breaking out.

Ever have to fit in a friend's small car and adjust a seatbelt to maximum, only to then say, "I don't want to wear it." because you can't?

I don't have body odor coming from odd places. Use your imagination for a moment, and you can probably image there are folds in odd placese when you're 50% bodyfat. Those folds and the sweat don't create a pleasant aroma.

I walked outside with my shirt off the other day without thinking about it. I was enjoying some sun when it hit me. "I like the sun???" I like it enough that I may even make this shirtless outside thing a habit.

I own two sleevless shirts, and two skintight shirts.

I had to show my ID to a group of Starbucks employess because they all had assumed I was early 20's. One had suggested late teens. I'm 31.

There's a bodybuilder at the gym who asked me if I was going to do a bodybuilding competition, because "you're all mesomorph".

I can talk to any girl I see with 100% confidence. Confident that I'm not going to get shot down for being fat. I still may say something stupid as hell, and get blown out of the water.

I can have sex in 100's of better positions now. One of the new positions is with a woman. All kidding aside, having sex even at 250 was like trying to hump with a pillow in my lap. A big pillow. It tends to get in the way of things.

One of those "things" is longer now.

The biggest thing I love, and do it often, is smiling at the ladies. All ladies. Not a dirty pervert smile, but a warm smile. Old, young, fat, skinny, 8 to 80, blind deaf or crazy, I'm flashing a smile. And you know what? Most actually smile back! Is it because of the confidence behind it? Is it because I no longer look like a psycho killer?

Who cares? Where I was got me to where I am, so I don't regret where I was. To the contrary. I have a unique perspective on life and the world that makes me appreciate what I was.

And now? I love me and the world responds in kind. It's a good thing.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I need your feedback. Should I audioblog?

this is an audio post - click to play

Updates next week.

I've made some good gains (losses) so far, and am just getting settled into my new routine. I will update my pics, stats, plan, the whole enchilada next week. It's going to be about 8 pounds lost, as I set out to do.

Do or do not... there is no try

What? Too juvanile for your tastes?

I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.

I actually have a picture of Michelangelo's David on the wall by my desk with that quote. It would be the look of David that I'm going for, rather than that of Hurcules. Frank Zane, Not Arnold.

Off to do cardio with an empty stomach aside from BCAA's and L-Carnatine. Burn more fat while preserving muscle, in theory. I'll find and article soon.

Bill Phillips new, new radio show

Taken from

I am updating you on the radio show. At the request of listeners, I have made the decision to produce the shows independently and broadcast three hours of programming per week rather than just one hour, free of paid commercials (which I felt really hindered the flow and intention of the past programs). I don't accept any money for doing the show, just as I never accepted any royalties for the millions of copies of Body-for-LIFE which were sold.


Bill, I'm waiting for you call. You've got my number.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Zen Master Yan Si Lan Liam Li

No one will understand what the hell this means besides me. Or maybe a psydo-Buddhist who lifts weights for me. Yes, this is very odd. Or is it?

Koan: Zen Master Yan Si Lan Liam Li says:

"A man who sees everything knows nothing. A man who knows everything sees nothing. Show me your abs and you will see yourself."

Or, does someone understand? What do you think Zen Master Yan Si Lan Liam Li is trying to say?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Men, are you ever "the crying lady"?

Taken, sans permission, from

There was once an old lady who cried all the time. Her elder daughter was married to an umbrella merchant while the younger daughter was the wife of a noodle vendor. On sunny days, she worried, “Oh no! The weather is so nice and sunny. No one is going to buy any umbrellas. What will happen if the shop has to be closed??These worries made her sad. She just could not help but cry. When it rained, she would cry for the younger daughter. She thought, “Oh no! My younger daughter is married to a noodle vendor. You cannot dry noodles without the sun. Now there will be no noodles to sell. What should we do??As a result, the old lady lived in sorrow everyday. Whether sunny or rainy, she grieved for one of her daughters. Her neighbors could not console her and jokingly called her “the crying lady."

One day, she met a monk. He was very curious as to why she was always crying. She explained the problem to him. The monk smiled kindly and said, “Madam! You need not worry. I will show you a way to happiness, and you will need to grieve no more."

The crying lady was very excited. She immediately asked the monk to show her what to do. The master replied, “It is very simple. You just need to change your perspective. On sunny days, do not think of your elder daughter not being able to sell umbrellas but the younger daughter being able to dry her noodles. With such good strong sunlight, she must be able to make plenty of noodles and her business must be very good. When it rains, think about the umbrella store of the elder daughter. With the rain, everyone must be buying umbrellas. She will sell a lot of umbrellas and her store will prosper.

The old lady saw the light. She followed the monk’s instruction. After a while, she did not cry anymore; instead, she was smiling everyday. From that day on she was known as “the smiling lady."

When we all have worries and problems, if we can emulate “the crying lady" and change our perspectives a little, we can transform worries and problems into happiness and fortunes. This does not require magical power.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Wendy's KID's Meal?

If you want to feed your kid a 620 calorie meal, with 89 grams of carbs, feed him the new "healthy" kid's meal at Wendy's.

Let me break this down. I am ~205 pounds right now, and work out out HARD daily. I am looking for 300-400 calorie meals. I eat 200 carbs or less daily; and little sugar. I certainly don't eat ANY meal with 34 sugars. As well, most of those sugars are lactose, which spikes blood sugar faster than even white sugar. You're going to feed this junk to your 1o0 pound kid?

What's worse? While the fat is low in relation to overall calories, it's specifically this lack of fat that will cause this meal to rapidly digest causing a spike in blood sugar. Of course, this spike in blood sugar results in a spike in insulin, which causes fat storage.

And what goes up rapidy must come down rapidly. What happens when your child's blood sugar crashes after these highs? Enjoy your cranky, overly hungry child 3 hours later.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. DO NOT try to eat healthy at a restaurant. Yes, I'm serious. You want a more glaring example? The "healthy" choice for an adult dessert would appear to be the yogurt and granola over the frosty, right? A small "fix and mix" frosty is only 20 more calories than the yogurt.

Quit torturing yourself when you're out to eat!

Sunday, July 02, 2006

High Fructose Corn Syrup is of the devil.

What that says is the more high fructose corn syrup we consume as a nation, the fatter we get. I'd bet we can draw a coorelation between transfats and monosodium glutamate as well. Can anyone find me a sales chart on those two demons?

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Why we do what we do.

This film is out there. However, if you scroll just to minute 48, and watch the part about neurotransmitters, you'll understand how your own mind works.

As soon as I saw this, I understood exactly why I used to overeat.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Chasing the Dragon

When I started my Transformation two years ago I wrote a note on day one, "Chest so sore I can't sit still. Pecs twitching involuntarily." This was serious.

I told my trainer that if I have to hurt this bad, I'd rather go back to being drunk and feel the hangovers.

He told me I'd one day crave this pain. I looked at him like he was stupidest muscle head I've ever spoken to.

Today, almost two years later, I'm wobbling around today on sore legs from Tuesday. I LOVE IT! I look forward to tearing the crapola out of my chest tonight in a search for that first, elusive pain I once had.

I believe if it were heroin I was addicted to as opposed to working out, this would be called, "Chasing the Dragon." We're all addicted to something; just choose an addiction that serves you well.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006


In his own words, Allen, aka Living Again at tells how he went from being this guy:

To this guy, in ONLY 12 WEEKS!

I had a slight technical problem with the first Podcast, so it's going to take me until tomorrow to get the first audio up. Cut me some slack, I'm a noob!

Sneek peek, up only for today...for now.

this is an audio post - click to play


Too much or too little gymnastic exercise is fatal to strength.

Similarly, too much or too little meat and drink is fatal to health,

whereas a suitable amount produces, increases, and sustains it.

~Aristotle, Nichomachean Ethics, Book II

Shawn Phillips: Igniting the Flame of Intensity

Shawn Phillips: Igniting the Flame of Intensity

I cannot believe I haven't shared this here yet. The BEST article ever on what training is all about. Here are some quotes from the man best known for his abs:

"It's no longer just about the size of one's biceps, but about the nearly unlimited potential of the mind, body, and spirit—the full potential of being."

"For millions more in gyms across the country, this kind of total engagement of body, mind, and spirit has the power to transform—and the greatest impact is rarely in the weight room. Even when all else seems to be going against you, focused, mindful training can facilitate a deep and ever-expanding spiritual life."

This is why I enjoy the "practice" of lifting weights.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Glycemic Index, Insulin and more you should know.

If you can just understand this, you'll be able to make the right diet choices in any situation. This site has taught me innumerable things that helped me lose weight.

Taken from

What is important when differentiating between various types of carbohydrates is how rapidly a particular carbohydrate will turn into sugar and raise blood sugar (glucose) levels, the body's source of energy for most activities. Read more here...

Please, leave some feedback

This blog is for you. As much as I love to feed my own ego, I want to teach others, and inspire others.

So what do YOU want to see? More articles like "But I had the Chicken!"? How about pages like the PMS page, or Thyroid Page? Audio Blog?

I'm going to start an audio blog, hopefully by weeks' end. Let me know what you want to hear.

How Your Thyroid Works from

Day One.

I've let myself go. I didn't think it was this bad. The scale tells me it's not. The pictures tell a different story.

The scale tells me 208.6. I once saw mid 198, so I'm officially 10 pounds up to start. I think I look worse than 10 heavy. However, that just tells me the first 10 are coming off quick, as it's fresh fat. Just a theory.

The blood pressure was 106/55, the resting heart rate 52, and the temp 96.89. This tells me I'm fit, yet have low metabolism. All of these taken first thing in the AM, before getting out of bed.

Why temp? Thyroid function. If it's good, I'll be warm. If not, I'll be cold. I need to get my metabolism fired up. I've always been low, but I'm not sure how low. Recently, I've been in the 96's a lot. NOT GOOD.

The high for the day was my 20 minute cardio, Body for Life style. What is a level 10? Contemplating your own mortality while trying to get your legs to move faster.

My weight goals are on fitday. My measurements will be on Body for Life Tracker tomorrow.

It's late, I'm tired, and will work more on this tomorrow. I'd give myself a 5 out of 10 today overall. I will become a much, MUCH more organized person by the end of 12 weeks.

Monday, June 26, 2006

I got it out of my system

The urge to cheat, the urge to drink, even the urge to smoke.

I went out on Friday and Saturday nights, and lived my old life. Here's what I've learned. THAT is a tough life. A Body for Life way of living is cake compared to that crap. Jeez. How did I ever do it so long?

Sunday cheat day started with a mac and cheese breakfast (yeah, that's right), then a scone from Starbucks, A full slab of ribs with mashed potatoes and fried cream corn balls (don't ask). THEN I had 20 wings and a bbowl of fries at Hooters. I couln't bring myself to drink beer. I even had two smokes left over in the car, and the thought of them made me sick.

Back to Starbucks for a Vanilla something for dessert, and I feel like HELL. Throughout the day I've not only felt sluggish, but depressed and irritable, anxious (very anxious), and kinda like the world is just a crummy place to be in and everyone in it sucks. I feel no love in me, or around me.

Hmmmmm...just like I used to feel.

What comes first, the physical or the mental? Tomorrow starts the new test. I know I'll have to push through a few days here to get going again, but once I do, this positive cycle will spin...just like the negative one has.

12 weeks from now, I'll be what I've been talking about.

I've figured out my "why" and will share it in my next post. Maybe do an audio blog on that one. I'll also update my measurements, weight, plan, etc. tomorrow. I've got a good post about my normal day, and WHY I do everything I do.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Can't wait for next week!

Next week I will be getting "on the plan". This time off is brutal. I'm going nuts not being in the gym. I'm eating often, and A LOT, which was needed to reset leptin, and get it out of my system. I'm soooooooooooooo sick of eating. I'm looking forward to next week in a big way.

For those of you who read my rant, sorry about that. That's the only time I'm going to do that. That helped me purge, and make changes. Here's the progress:

1) Girlfriend and I parted ways very peacefully. I love her and miss her, and KNOW I cannot ever be with her. I suppose this is what you ladies feel when you have one of them emotion thingees. God, that must suck to have these all the time ;)
2) Remaining calm, trying to get my lawyer to fight for me. So far, it's 2 months and the court still hasn't been able to provide a transcript. I'm going to get the Nixon Tapes when they're done. I'm laughing at it at this point. If not, I'd cry.
3) I took a temporary position with a fat full time paycheck. I'm going to be on the road 45 hours a week. I'll have to prepare EVERY meal ahead. I'm excited to test my discipline, and make some $$!
4) Allergies are OK; managed. Taking a nose spray about once every 4 days until I have a more permanent solution. I still hate perscriptions, but I had to do this. Next Dr. visit on Tuesday.

That's all for now. I'll update 5 and 6 as I have news.

Thanks for all the kind words, everyone. I'm happy to inspire some of you. Just make sure you come back and show me pics when you're ready to. I'll be here, showing off some myself.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

So I stole this picture.

I stole the body in the last pic, obviously. Am I a bad person? No.

I tried to email the guy, or leave a comment on his blog, or anything. I have no idea how to reach him, but if anyone does, his site is

Now, why did I do it? I have been stuck at around 200 for a WHILE now. Too long. Yes, I got to 11.3% bodyfat once, but that's not good enough for me. I have never seen my abs.

I believe that first you see it in your mind, and then you'll see it in the "real world". So one night, I'm randomly surfing and bump into this guy. He's wearing the same "posing shorts" as me, and standing the same.

What was I to do?

Hopefully when he finds out I stole his body and replaced his head he's flattered.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

But I had the chicken!

I hear it all the time. People tell me they go out to eat, but they were "good". I have no doubt that everyone tries to make good choices while eating out. However, the cold, hard truth is that unless you see the nutritional information, you don’t know whether or not you’re being good.

Let’s take a look at a glaring example. You’re going about your busy day and find that you’re hungry and need food now. You know fast food isn’t ideal, but maybe you’ll go to Chipotle and try to eat something healthy. In fact, you’re so nutritionally educated, you know to skip the burrito shell because of the white flour and high fat content that it contains.

So you’re going to do a "healthy" burrito bowl, right? You’re even going to skip the sour cream and cheese because you’re going the extra mile on your diet. Nothing but meat and veggies, right? So what’s your best choice?

Common knowledge would lead you to believe chicken and veggies is a wise choice. Let’s take a look:

4 oz Chicken, 219 calories, 101 calories from fat, which makes it 46% FAT.
3 oz Fajita Vegetables, 100 calorories, 70 calories from fat, so 70% FAT!
That doesn’t sound healthy!

In fact, the steak, which most would consider the worst choice of the three has 108 of its 230 calories coming from fat, making it only 47% fat; only 1% more than the chicken, and 23% LESS fat than those "healthy" veggies!

So how are you supposed to eat healthy when going out? In my experience, it is nearly impossible. Now, that isn’t to say I didn't or don't go out. Just when I do, I know I’m not going to know what I’m really getting, so I get what I want.

Yes, you heard me right. Ninety percent of weight loss is in your mind. So allow yourself to go out, and enjoy a guilt free meal on occasion. How can you eat out and not beat yourself up? Eat half the normal restaurant portions (which are HUGE), and eat healthy, home prepared meals most of the time.

How often is too often? Well, how healthy do you want to be?

As a sidenote, if you were unaware, it's worth pointing out that McDonald's owns Chipotle. Leave it to a clown to make chicken unhealthy.

Can Food Alter Your Mood?

This is an article I LOVE and agree with wholeheartedly. I'm thinking I may bring articles like this to your attention every now and again. Should I do that here?

Feel free to leave me feedback on what parts you like/don't like so far.

Can Food Alter Your Mood?
By: Deborah Kesten, MPH

The foods you choose may influence your behavior and emotional well-being.

Food and Mood by Design

"In the past, whether food worked for you or against you usually was a matter of luck or choice. It no longer has to be that way. With all that we now know about the food/mind/mood can begin to select (food) that will power your brain, modify your moods, and in the process make you a more effective, motivated, and perhaps even more contented individual." Judith J. Wurtman, Ph.D. Managing Your Mind and Mood Through Food

Imagine choosing one type of food to alleviate anxiety, another to bolster brain power, or yet another to curb your urge to splurge on that donut. A new field of pioneering nutrition research, often referred to as the study of food and mood, is confirming what many of us have always suspected: What and when we eat can affect our mind and mood, the tendency to pile on pounds-even the quality of our lives. For example, to curb the urge to splurge on that donut, you could instead choose a lower fat sweet/fat food combination, such as graham crackers, fig newtons, or hot chocolate made with skim milk.


Tuesday, June 20, 2006

New blog name.

I beleve I am going to change the name to

But I want your feedback first!

I see that there are a few people who have been following this blog now. I am eager to hear what you think.

I will be going "live" June 26th, next Monday. That is the deadline for this next round of Body for Life Challengers to sign up. I'm ready to finally submit my packet to them, and win what has been rightfully mine now for a year... $1 Million dollars.

Official Body for Life Challenge Registration

I'm also starting a smaller online group at If you want to be a part of the group I'm starting online, I think I've got a name.

Friday, June 16, 2006

I need just one person.

Just one person to be responsible to. I'll start with just one. JUST START. Baby steps on the bus there Bob.

After I get one, I will get two. Then three. Then four. This doesn't sound like rocket surgury, does it?

But it is, if you get wrapped up into it, and forget what the first step it. And that is what?

Just one.

Clean and green.

Since no one has any idea what I speak of besides me, I'll leave you with this parabole, to make up for my foolish post today.

For the record, I'm totally distracting myself with nonsense because of the breakup. I'm doing some dumb things right now, but will be 100% on diet and workouts June 25th. I think that's the date. It's coming soon.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Howstuffworks "How PMS Works"

Treatment for PMS: Diet

The best article to explain the coorelation between overeating, hormones, and "brain chemicals". It's real, fellas. Now read up, and sympathize with your lady, and earn some brownie points already.

Friday, June 09, 2006

I need your help and feedback.

this is an audio post - click to play

The stressors in my life.

I refer to these as "stressors" as opposed to stress. Why? I honestly believe that it's only how we deal with events that cause stress, not the events themselves. That is, if someone tells me I'm fat, I have two options 1) Stress out over it because of anger, hurt, etc. 2) Think of it as a great thing, telling me I need to step it up a notch and therefore being happy that this person has helped me.

Goofy? Yes. Effective? Yes.

So, onto my list of stressors. (or is it stres-sores? hmm..)

These are the things I've choosen to focus on, rather than focusing on my goals.

1) I've breaking up with someone I love. We love each other, and hurt each other. Try as we might (even with a counselor), I cannot get myself to want this. If I wanted it, I could make it work. How can I get myself to want something?

Therefore, at this point, I cannot make this work and need to get out as unscathed as possible while not hurting her any more either. Not the easiest task. Hell, with the amount of energy I put into trying to get out, you figure I could find a way to want it, and stay in, eh?

2) I went to jail two weeks ago for contempt in a CIVIL case. I fight things on principle. There's a big long story to follow about how I fought this case on my own and made a judge rewrite an unlawful order he made. I won the case!

And then he came after me. Since then, I got an attorney, and he's informed me in no uncertain terms that I am 100% within my rights, should not have been thrown in jail, and there is no legal reason for me to go to jail, yet the judge will throw me in jail again soon if I don't settle this issue by paying.

I know this sounds like total horseshit, but I will have audio of the court transcript shortly (2 weeks) where you can hear the judge admit in open court that I did follow the order, but he decided before the hearing on what my sentance would be. HUH? That's not legal.

If I fight for what's right I go to jail. What would you do? Much, much more on this later.

3) I'm broke. Not somewhat, but I dug myself a deep, deep hole when I was fat drunk and lazy. I hang my head in shame.

My parents keep telling me they'll give me more money so I don't go further into dept. You cannot borrow your way out of debt. However, they get upset with me when I don't take their money.

Again, this is all how I handle it. I can get angry at them for it, or I can let them get upset and not respond. It's tough to do what's best for me, yet make Mom and Dad upset. I thought at age 31 I'd get over trying to please Mom and Dad.

Not sure I can get over my need to please the parents, but I need to do what's best for me. I bet you all wish your parents would give you money, eh? Trust me, you don't want it. It's torture.

4) My allergies run my life. I'm trying to manage them. I need shots. I was given oral steroids and antihistamines, an OTC nose spray and prescription nose spray, a nose washing system, prescription eye there anything else? The only other oriface they could ask me to jam something is through suppository.

And I don't even take aspirin!

I have take a little bit of what they've given me, but only when I get real bad. How bad? Sneezing literally 30-50 times an hour, eyes near swollen shut, cannot drive, hard time even breathing.

I'm not bitching, I'm just wondering what I can do with my hatred of medicine and my debilitating allergies. Suppose I'll need to get rid of one of those things. I have indoor and outdoor allergies, so I cannot stay inside and manage them, unless I have a newer house with no mold, dustmites or cockroaches (my indoor allergins).

Which leads me to my next issue...

5) I cannot sell my house until it's restored and working in this dust makes me sneeze.

Now I just feel like I'm bitching. I write to organize my thougths. Somehow reading this makes me look at these issues from an unemotional angle.

I need to:

1) End it already and move on.
2) Swallow the pride and just write a check for pragmatics.
3) Work 12 hours a day, 6 days a week now that I don't have the girlfriend.
4) Take the meds as prescibed and be a zombie until the shots start working.
5) Sell the house any way possible and move to my friend's house on the mountain (literally, ON a mountain) in New Mexico where I won't have the allergy outbreaks.

Now, why is that so hard? Why is common sense not common practice? Why do I go back and forth on each of these issues, trapping myself into a lose/lose proposition? Emotions??

I thought emotions come from ovaries. Do I have ovaries?

Step 6, get my ovaries removed.

*EDIT* You know, looking back on this, I actually feel pretty good that I'm even eating right. Most people would go to jail OR break up with someone and fall off the deep end. I've done both and come out OK. AND I've got a BUNCH of other major stressors to deal with on top of all that. I need to cut myself some slack, and be proud that I'm not gaining weight.

"The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving."
Fredrick Harrison

Thursday, June 08, 2006

New before and afters.

This is what I look like this week:

and this is the next "after" pic, end of this summer.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Another test

I know I said I wouldn't do it. However, I've got spare time...obviously. I stole this guy's pic:

I would have asked him if he minded, but I don't see how to email him or leave comments. So, I hope he thinks imitation is the most flattering form of...uhm...whatever.

Friday, June 02, 2006

John Basedow

From Fitness Made Simple. I may have pasted my head on his body....maybe. I'm just seeing what I'm going to look like with sculpted abs (and oil.)

An image I made for my Fitday Journal. That's where I have the core details, the "how to", the "soup to nuts", nuts and bolts, ins and outs, the DETAILS. Got it?

We'll see what this looks like. It's not a live link here, but over in the tool bar it should be. This is "none" for alignment. Yes, this is the last test.

Another titleless post. Again, this is experimental.

This ought to be interesting. I just threw this together to take to Fitness by Design, a local personal training facility.

On that note, I guess I do have some content. I interviewed there last week. As much as I wanted to want the job, I didn't. I could have gotten on there, but something told me it was not the place for me. Too big, too structured, and too impersonal for me. However, it got me headed in the right direction.

Even finding the wrong path is making progress sometime.

This is the most recent close up of me. I'm only posting here to see what "left placement" looks like. This BLOG is a learning experience in html design for me. It's not too difficult, but like anything new, there's a little trial and error.

Kinda like weight loss. You see what works (and will find what doesn't) until you get the hang of it.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Still eating healthy

It's a way of life now. I cannot cheat during the week without feeling terrible. A cheat is now eating too early, or having a protein bar when I should be having a real food meal. My standards just keep getting higher.

Isn't that what it's all about in life? Constantly raising your standards and bettering yourself? I'm about to step it up another notch.

I'm not happy with my progress. I'll post again with the new, new plan. It's simple.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Had a terrible day.

Even a champ falls down. I fell down in a big way today. Just had a bad case of poppy pants all day and skipped my workout because of it. I wasn't going to go to the gym and have a crap workout.

I'll see if when I wake tomorrow and see the mirror I believe what I see. I need to, damn it. I'm going to.

I'm the little engine that could. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Why do I torture myself? Am I not beyond this?

Monday, April 24, 2006

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday.

Sunday is cheat day. That is supposed to be "free day", ala Body for Life. However, I've made it into cheat day. Now I'm done. I can't keep doing this.

Breakfast was the usual eggs, biscuits and gravy, and breakfast meats, with a side of fried potatoes. That's the usual. Felt like hell afterwards, came home and slept. Then for dinner I had a bacon cheeseburger and fries. Felt like hell again; came home and slept. And it was a nice day. What a waste of a Sunday.

So here I sit, Sunday night, wondering why I do it. Why would I do things that make me feel like hell. I guess, like my drinking used to, eating used to give me a healthy dose of pleasure. Now, the pain afterwards is about equal to the pleasure I get during my "feedings".

Yeah, I think I'm done with this whole idea of cheating for a while.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Well, here I sit, with the internal cardio debate once again. I'm trying to make it to the gym on an empty stomach. Man, I hate that. Only do it on cardio days, but still hate it.

OK, I cannot sit here and debate, when I am the 2006 Body for Life Champion. I'm off to the gym. Again, I thought I was going to say something here, but this is silly. I know I'm going to feel great in 30 minutes.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


Got my endorphine fix with some Body for Life style cardio. I weighed in at 209, which concerns me. However, I think that I'm taking in so much water that is to be expected. I've also been doubling up on my creatine which causes water retention. FURTHERMORE, I've made it a point to eat more carbs as I think I may have dropped them a little low last week.

Soooo...I'm chillin on it. I'll be back near 205 or 206 tomorrow morning. It's shoulder and ab day, so I'm low carbing all day. Hey, if I don't need the calories to move big weight, I'm not going to intake them.

Does this work? I think so. I just try to match my carbs with my energy expenditure. I may need to get more scientific at this point, and measure my food. However, for now, I'm still going off feel, and will remain doing so until I finally feel I cannot lose anymore this way.

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

So here I am, day two of week three, and wondering if I've made any progress at all. I know I have, it's just tough some days. Why? I'm not sure.

I need some inspiration. I'm going to the gym to get some additional cardio in to get that inspiration. Yes, I'm going to work out, and then look for the inspiration. If I wait for inspiration to work out, it never comes.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

this is an audio post - click to play

Wrap up of the first post. I finish with:

Intro on visualizing
Alude to brain chemestry (Much more on that later)
Ken Whitener Quote

Why not throw in a daily quote at the end of each of these? My 9th grade English teacher would be proud that I always leave my audience with a little present.

My first audio post-The Basics

I talk about:

What I'm doing Here.
Diet Basics my "One Page Weight Loss Guide"
Exercise Philosophy
Visualization and Positive thinking

this is an audio post - click to play

I've gotta pay for bandwidth somehow!

This should be a button to allow you to donate to keep the PodCasts going. I only need one $20 donatikon monthly, or two $10 donations.

It only takes one person.

This should be a donation button. I only need one donation each month. Just one person to go to Paypal for me to keep these Podcast's going.

I'm asking for support.

So I need some motivation to finish this weight loss out to the very end. Or, at least until I see my 6 pack come in. So I'm publishing this blog in which I will chronicle the magical appearing abs.

What makes them magical? I will only do sit ups once, or maybe twice per week, as I have all along. Sit-ups don't produce abs, the complete lifestyle does. That is, diet, exercise, sleep, attitude, etc. etc. I'll talk about it all throughout this.

Goal is 8 weeks. That's somewhere right around the beginning of May, when summer will be in full effect. It's a lofty goal, but I've got a great support system around me here in Indy, and will be getting a larger circle of influence online. That means YOU!

Shoot me an email if you want free advice, or just want to cheer me on. I'm not sure where this journey is going to lead just yet, but I'm "putting it out there" for now.

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