Monday, June 26, 2006

I got it out of my system

The urge to cheat, the urge to drink, even the urge to smoke.

I went out on Friday and Saturday nights, and lived my old life. Here's what I've learned. THAT is a tough life. A Body for Life way of living is cake compared to that crap. Jeez. How did I ever do it so long?

Sunday cheat day started with a mac and cheese breakfast (yeah, that's right), then a scone from Starbucks, A full slab of ribs with mashed potatoes and fried cream corn balls (don't ask). THEN I had 20 wings and a bbowl of fries at Hooters. I couln't bring myself to drink beer. I even had two smokes left over in the car, and the thought of them made me sick.

Back to Starbucks for a Vanilla something for dessert, and I feel like HELL. Throughout the day I've not only felt sluggish, but depressed and irritable, anxious (very anxious), and kinda like the world is just a crummy place to be in and everyone in it sucks. I feel no love in me, or around me.

Hmmmmm...just like I used to feel.

What comes first, the physical or the mental? Tomorrow starts the new test. I know I'll have to push through a few days here to get going again, but once I do, this positive cycle will spin...just like the negative one has.

12 weeks from now, I'll be what I've been talking about.

I've figured out my "why" and will share it in my next post. Maybe do an audio blog on that one. I'll also update my measurements, weight, plan, etc. tomorrow. I've got a good post about my normal day, and WHY I do everything I do.

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